December 11th is the day kiddos. Start saving money and vacation. Highest bidder screws the bride. err groom also. ---scott

Is that baby due in January, or earlier? What about that DNA testing and shit?

Can I bring a friend? What if my tuxedo doesn't fit anymore? What if my date ends up being Paul Campbell and he catches the bouquet. Is that a presumptive ballin'?

Is there a bowling alley nearby? What a bout a titty-bar? Has to be, right?

There will be plenty of ballin'...but mostly by, and not of, me. Now, that is not to say that I won't get a little sentimental if I catch the bouquet. Maybe there will just be a special someone nearby. Now, what if I catch the bouquet and then I see Carlie, and there is a twinkle in her eyes, but she's just gotten married? Can we just consummate without having to go through the legal mumbo jumbo?

What about silly clothes? What about the after party? What about the before party? I think there should be some gimmick to this thing...just being in Mexico isn't going to cut it. Althought that will be nice. By the way, I think that from now on, we should all get married in Mexico. I call Nuevo Laredo!!

Dreamin' of creamy brown thighs,
Paul

In my dreams last night - in between the one where I'm sitting on a linoleum floor begging for mother's milk from my yoga instructor and the one where I can't seal the deal no matter how sweet and sure thing the deal is - I was dreaming of a bachelor party for Brandt. Where will it take place? Must plan now. Like everything else we do. Plan and execute. After arguing and fucking.